A Longing Missing Feeling
by daffodila
Summary: "Mom, if Dad will always be like this ... does he deserve to be proud of me if someday I'll be a great kunoichi?"/Mind to RnR? :)


Standard disclaimer applied.

Warning: I tried my best to make this story grammatically flawless, but I don't know. There would be grammar error(s), I guess. English is not my mother language but I want to learn to write in English. So, yeah. Here it is. I hope it doesn't really bother you, readers. Enjoy reading! Thank you :)

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When she was a four years old kid, Sarada had to face a bitter fact in her life. That night, she heard her mother crying out loud. The vibrating sound of it could break someone's heart just by hearing it once. While she saw her father was staring at her mother by a stiff glare. There was no meaning that can be seen on it. There was nothing that can be taken as a conclusion.

Sarada knew that both of her parents hadn't realized her availability in the doorway. They must be thinking that she had fallen asleep. But she just couldn't fall asleep whether she felt something like a bad feeling inside her chest. That was the reason why she took her steps to go to her parents' room and decided to sleep with them. But that was what she got.

"Dad ... Mom ...," she mumbled.

Two person that theirs nickname was being called was moving their sight to where the voice came from. Sakura wiped the tears on her face quickly. But it just couldn't hide the fact that she was just crying. Her sobs still escaped from her throat. "Sarada ...," she called.

Sarada raised her chin up to stare at her tall father. His face was expressionless. The way he looked at his daughter was as stiff as the way he looked at his wife a minute ago. He took a big step nearing his daughter. He squat to make him as tall as his daughter. He placed his hand on the top of Sarada's head. Sarada waited until her father starts speaking. But her wait had no edge.

"What's up, Dad? Mom is crying." Finally she decided to speak first. Her black eyes stared at a pair of eyes that similar to hers. She was waiting for a single answer. Waiting for a change of expression. But once again, her wait had no edge.

Sarada's tiny body trembled when she saw the lips of her father was moving. But there was no sound at all. His words were hanging in the edge of his throat. Sarada touched her father's cheek by her right hand.

He was still silent. All she could hear was the sobs of her mom. That sobs was like sending the emotions that were running inside her. Sarada wouldn't close her eyes or blink even just one time, because she was afraid that her father will be disappear at that time.

"What's up, Dad?" She repeated her question. Because of the silence, the sound of deep pant was heard so clearly.

"Take care of your Mom." That words weren't the right answer for Sarada's question. But that little girl quite understood the meaning of those words. Her father was going to go. Then everything was clear. This was the reason of the falling tears from her mother's eyes.

"Where'd you go?"

Sasuke didn't answer her question. He released his hand then stood by his feet. He took his steps to the main door. He took a glance at his wife, a single tear fell from her eyes again. He closed his eyes for a minute and took a deep breath, then he walked out of his house. Leaving the two most important women in his life stiffened at the place where they stood.

The first one who realized from the surprised feeling was Sarada. She was chasing for her father. But before her feet touch the ground outside the house, her body was pulled against the gravity. Her tears were exploded that time. With every strength left inside of her, Sakura transferred her power to make her lovely daughter stronger through the smooth skin ship.

"M-mom, Dad w-wasn't ... gone f-for a mi ... mission, was he?" Sarada said hardly against her cry.

Sakura hugged her daughter tightly. She had to be strong for her. She didn't answer her daughter's question. All she did was patting Sarada's back in order to make her calm.

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Days were gathered in to a single week. Weeks were accumulated in to a month. Twelve months were gathered in to a single year. All the time which Sarada had passed to grow old was out of her father's hand. She didn't know where her father had gone and when will he come back. Her days was filled by guessing the right answer of her question for a year.

Tonight, Sarada stood by the window which was the closest one to the main door. She opened the dark blue curtain of the window. She was waiting for the coming of someone that she really want to come back, it was her father. It had been her daily routine since a year ago, since her father left.

Sakura stared at her daughter's back sadly. She couldn't help seeing Sarada in that condition each day. If pain and missing feeling can be moved to another heart, Sakura wouldn't mind taking care of her daughter's. She would do anything to make Sarada happy again. But unfortunately, that little girl who got a dark hair had never shown any interest to anything since her father left.

Sakura knew that Sarada must be so depressed. Her daughter must be really sad. Sakura had been standing on Sarada's position when she was younger, and now she felt it again. But she quite realized that it was harder to get through when she was younger than now. Back then, she waited for Sasuke, a nuke nin who had been a criminal, without any bond beside a team mate. She was just a teen. That time she was so emotional, her feeling was hard to control. Now she grew up, she was a mature. She was a mother. She could control her sadness, although she battled something inside her before.

Sakura realized what Sarada felt then was so much bigger than when she was younger. Sasuke was her father, and she was too young to take this sadness on her shoulder. Sakura was as sad as Sarada, but she had to be strong for her daughter.

Sarada stared up at her mother. "Mom, when will Dad come back?" She asked.

Sakura didn't say any word. Her most avoided question was Sarada's most asked question. Sakura didn't know what to answer because she didn't know the answer clearly. Sarada knew that her mother couldn't answer her question, but she just couldn't take it but asked it everyday. She hoped that her mother got a new answer each day.

"Soon, Honey," said Sakura. She smiled to make her daughter sure.

But again, her answer was still the same. Day to day, that was all that can escaped from Sakura's mouth as an answer.

"Why did Dad go, Mom?" asked Sarada for the many times.

Patiently, Sakura caressed Sarada's head softly. She squat to make her as tall as her daughter. "To pay something."

"I don't understand." Sarada wasn't satisfied with her mother's answer that always be the same.

Sakura kissed her forehead. She caressed her cheeks softly. "It's time to sleep. Come on," she said instead of answer her daughter's words.

She carried her young daughter in her arms then took steps to her room. She lied that little girl on the bed, while she was sitting next to her. She pulled the blanket until it covered her body besides her neck and face. She caressed her daughter warmly. "Good night, Honey," whispered Sakura.

Sakura waited until her daughter had fallen asleep. She kissed her forehead gently. She wiped the sweat that wet her neck.

"Sasuke-kun, we miss you." She whispered.

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This was the second year Sarada lived without her father beside her. Tonight she didn't stand near the window but laying weakly on her bed.

Her body was covered with a thick blanket. The temperature of her body was passing the normal line, but she was freezing. She tried her best to make herself feeling warm. Her breathing was felt so hot but it didn't help. Her throat was dry. She couldn't make the freezing feeling gone calmly because she felt that her head was so heavy and hurt so much.

She got a fever and she had to face it alone. Her father was long gone and her mother was taking an operation in the hospital. Both of her parents didn't even know how was her condition then. Sarada was really alone.

The sound of trembling teeth and a long pant was heard all over her room. She mumbled because she couldn't take the ache of her head. She tried to sleep, but when she closed her eyes it felt worst. It made her feeling so uncomfortable.

"Dad ... Mom ..." Nobody answered. That was clear. She was all alone in the house.

This time Sarada had to face another bitter fact. Her father didn't go home and her mother was totally busy. As a six year old kid it was natural for her to feel sad that way.

Her mother was the greatest medic nin. But sadly, her mother took care of her patient more than she took care of her daughter. Sarada knew if her mother knew that she was sick, she will be her priority. But sadly she didn't know.

"I'm home. Sarada, where are you?"

Sarada groaned hearing her mother's voice. She could hear the steps nearing her room. The door was wide opened, her mother came in hungrily. She stared at her tired mother. "Mom," she called.

"What's up, Honey? You looked so weak. Are you freezing?"

Sakura took a seat beside her daughter's bed. Her hand caressed her daughter's forehead and found out that her temperature was passing normal. "Oh my God! You got a fever!" She panicked.

"Mom, I miss Dad."

"Sshhh, calm down. I will heal you first." The green light was shown out of Sakura's hand. She flow her healing chakra to Sarada's forehead. She was panicked because that was the very first time Sarada got sick. She was worried Sarada got sick because of she was freaking sad. Sakura tried to calm herself down so she could heal Sarada optimally. This could take a longer time because her chakra had been used for an operation a while ago.

Sakura bit her own lip every time she heard a whimper escaped from Sarada's mouth. She wanted to take every single pain that Sarada felt as fast as possible but unfortunately she couldn't. "Be patient, Honey. It just take a minute," she said, trying to calm her daughter down.

With a warm feeling flow on the top of her forehead, her headache was gone slowly. Sarada started to open her eyes and tried to sit. Sakura stopped her healing process when she felt Sarada's tiny arm hugged her tightly. "Mom, I miss Dad." She repeated her words.

Sakura was stiffened. She didn't know what to say. She caressed her daughter's back warmly then pulled it a little to make her lay again. She kissed her forehead gently. "Dad will be home," she said then smiling to make her sure.

Sarada tried to trust on her mother's words. But there was something inside her body which made her not sure that it was an honesty.

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Millions seconds passed and then Sarada was eight years old. Four years passed after her father left. The voice of laughter heard. Feeling curious, she moved her sight to where the voice came from. Her heart ached when she found out an intact family was seen by her sight.

She couldn't help but get envy to them. But in the other side she cursed herself because she felt so. A longing missing feeling to her father had been transformed to an indescribable hot feeling. She was angry. Really really angry to her father because he didn't come home. He opened a huge hole in the center of their little family and made tears streaming down her face like a river every time she remembered him. Sarada started hating on those feeling.

She would make herself sure to throw away every hopes and wishes about her father coming home until there's nothing left. She wouldn't wait on the window for her father's coming. She wouldn't tell about her missing feeling. And she wouldn't ask about the reason why he left and when will he came back. Not again. Four years was enough for her.

Maybe, if she acts like she don't have a father at all ... her life will be so much easier.

Four years was a long time, and inside that long time her father didn't show up and leave a single foot step or even a letter for her and her mother. Sarada started to think, if her father never remember her family at all, what for she hope for her father's coming? There was no use. It just broke herself from the inside.

Sarada walked to her house. She moved the door and got a little surprised seeing her mother at home. Usually she was always alone after going from the academy until noon came, that was why she was a little surprised.

"Welcome home, Sarada."

"Mom, you didn't to the hospital?" Sarada was curious.

"I have. But there was no work I could do so I decided to go home. How was your day at the academy?"

"Oh, okay. Hm, as usual."

Sarada took a seat in front of her mother. She felt quite happy because she didn't have to spend her time alone.

"Don't be like that. I heard that your achievement is great, isn't it?" Sakura's spirit was higher. That was not the first time she got a report about Sarada's achievement. She proud of her daughter.

Sarada took a deep breath. "It was said more than how was the fact, Mom."

"I know you are a smart girl who can always make me proud." Sakura placed her hand on the top of Sarada's head and made her hair messy.

Sarada was keep quite. Sakura found a frown on her daughter's face. "Why so sad, little one?"

Sarada raised her chin up and stared at her face. "Mom, if Dad will always be like this ... Does Dad deserve to be proud if someday I'll be a great kunoichi?"

Sakura was surprised on her seat. She had never thought something like that would escape from her eight years old daughter's mouth. The question was too heavy for her age. But then Sakura realized what her daughter had been through make her acting maturely passing her age.

"Don't speak like that, Honey. Dad will always be your dad. It's a fact that couldn't be change for forever." She stared at Sarada softly.

"But ...," Sarada avoided her mother's eyes.

"Enough. I promise Dad will be back. Don't think that way again, okay?" Sakura cutted her daughter's word.

Sarada didn't answer. Her lips closed tightly. Promise. Her mother promised her. Thing that will cause something bad if she doesn't keep her promise. But she didn't take it hard, she was no longer hoping for her father's coming. Her recent question didn't contain anything about wishes for her father's coming, did it?

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Another two years passed. Sarada lied on her bed because her training was making her really tired that day. Her hand covered her closed eyes. Her red glasses had been placed on the desk beside her bed. She opened a tiny gap between her fingers then took a glance to the window through that gap. The moon was shining fully. Sarada was taking a deep breath. She closed her eyes again.

"Sarada! ... Sarada!"

She got up from her bed when she heard her mother called her name with sobs. She was afraid that something bad happened to her mother. She opened the door and went downstairs.

"Mom? What happened? Mom?"

Sarada went to her mother's room but there was no one in there. She didn't find her mother everywhere. Not in the family room, kitchen, nor the bathroom. There was one place left: the living room. She took her steps there hungrily.

What filled her eyesight was making her stiffened in the doorway. Her body was trembling. Her eyes wide opened. Her mother was standing inside a tall man's hug. The sound of her sobs were heard all over the room. That sharp eyesight, that hair, that hard jaw, that stiff creature, was someone that she considered had been long gone from this world since years ago. Her father, Sasuke Uchiha.

Sarada blinked her eyes, still couldn't believe with her own sight. She bitted the inside of her mouth to feel pain and make sure this wasn't a dream. And she felt pain. That was real. A real thing which couldn't be accepted easily by her normal thoughts.

Two persons that filled her sight hadn't realized her availability in the doorway. It was just a flashback for something that happened six years ago. She saw her father kissed the top of her mother's head deeply. His eyes closed tightly, seemed like he comprehended what he was doing fully.

What Sarada thought all this time was wrong. Before, she thought that her father totally forget about her and her mother. But what was shown in front of her eyes was proving something else. Seemed so clearly that her father had the missing feeling as much as her mother. She closed her eyes tightly then raised her chin down to prevent her falling tears which started making her eyes wet.

Sarada was still angry. If her father loved her and her mother that much, why he had to go for years without sending any letter or else? That was still couldn't be accepted by her healthy mind in every way. She couldn't accepted her father's coming as easy as flapping her hands.

"Sarada." That deep voice was filling the room. Sarada raised her chin up. Her wet eyes wide opened and stared at a pair of eyes that similar to hers. Her body trembled because it felt so real.

With all of her pride, she didn't move at all. She took a glance at her father from the distance without saying any word. The missing feeling that had been buried inside her deeply now finally popped up on all over her chest. That time she could barely hold her teardrops fall from the corner of her eyes.

Sasuke took his steps towards her daughter then hugged her tightly after he squat. He caressed her hair warmly then kissed her forehead gently.

Sarada was stiffened. Her tears were wetting her cheeks like a river. "You didn't have a heart, did you?" She mumbled. Sobing. "I'm angry, Dad. So angry." She pushed her father's shoulder weakly. She wiped her own tears.

Sasuke stared at Sarada's wet eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not a good person. That's why I have to be gone for so long and pay for everything I had done in the past." His thumb wiped the tears that was falling from his daughter's eyes. "I'm sorry, Honey."

Sarada cried out loud that time. Sasuke hugged his lovely daughter tightly then carried her in his arm. He took his steps towards his lovely wife. Sakura, whom her heart had been touching so much, opened her arms widely then took her lovely husband and her daughter in his arm in to her warm hug. She kissed Sarada's cheek gently then whispered, "You wouldn't have to be sad again. Our family is intact now."

Sarada nodded. In the middle of her touching tears, Sakura smiled, while Sasuke was feeling that life was beautiful when he touched his happiest momen. He was happy because he finally had a chance to gather with his wife and daughter. With his beloved family.

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Fin

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a/n:

Alright. So sorry for tons of grammar errors. Just like what I was said before, English is not my mother language. But before I publish this story, I re-read it multiple times. But sorry for the miss! This is a translated story from the story I wrote in Bahasa, the title of it was "Rindu".

Thank you so much for reading. Mind to review and giving me a feedback? I'd be so pleased if you did! :D


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